Every Business Loses Revenue After 5pm. Most Never Find Out Why.
The After-Hours Audit identifies exactly where your digital presence fails after your team goes home — missed calls, dead lead forms, broken automations.
We're opening it as a contribution-first offer. Choose how deep you want to go. Every dollar supports the Alzheimer's Association.
Every purchase donates directly to the Alzheimer's Association (EIN: 13-3039601). Ed has personally pledged an additional $1,000 upon reaching the $10,000 goal.
Be the first to contribute.
Sample Night Shift Report · real results in 5 business days
Do It Yourself
The complete audit framework — checklist, scoring rubric, and gap-analysis template — delivered to your inbox within 5 minutes.
- Mystery Shopper Call Script
- 5-Point Grading Rubric
- Competitive Comparison Sheet
- Follow-Up Action Plan
Full $27 donated to Alzheimer's Association
The Night Shift Report
Ed personally calls 3–5 of your competitors in a single after-hours session starting at 7pm. You get a written report comparing their performance to yours — plus a Sloane ROI projection and a $297 credit toward setup.
- You name 3–5 competitors — Ed locates their phone numbers
- Ed calls every competitor in a single session starting at 7:00pm
- Each call scored on 4 dimensions: Emotional Synchrony, Financial Qualification, The Karma Play, and Technical Knowledge
- Brand Erosion audit: identifying outsourced call centers using "Artificial Pleasantness" that lowers family trust
- Cognitive Load assessment: evaluating whether night staff sound distracted, rushed, or exhausted during intake
- Your own after-hours setup benchmarked against competitor average
- Written Night Shift Report with full findings and scores
- Sloane ROI projection — estimated monthly revenue recovered with AI answering
- $297 credited toward Sloane onboarding (applies to your $2,450 setup fee)
$148.50 donated to Alzheimer's Association
What's Included
Four documents, one complete audit process. Everything you need to run the calls and present the findings to your team.
Mystery Shopper Call Script
Exact wording to use when calling competitors after hours. Sounds natural, captures the critical first 60 seconds, and tests whether they try to re-engage before you hang up.
5-Point Grading Rubric
Score each competitor on: answered vs. voicemail, response speed, friendliness and professionalism, attempt to capture contact info, and follow-up within 24 hours.
Competitive Comparison Sheet
A side-by-side tracking grid for up to 5 competitors. Fill it in as you call. See at a glance who is capturing families and who is letting them go to voicemail.
Follow-Up Action Plan
A one-page summary of what to do with what you find: how to benchmark your own after-hours performance and what to show your leadership team.
Run the Audit Yourself
The entire audit takes about 30 minutes. You can do it alone or with your admissions team.
Download the script
Contribute $27 and get the full audit kit — script, rubric, and comparison sheet — delivered immediately.
Identify 5 local competitors
Pick the communities that compete directly for the same families in your market. Assisted living, memory care, or both.
Call each after hours
Make the calls between 6pm and 9pm on a weekday, or on a Saturday morning. That is when families call in real life.
Grade each call
Use the rubric to score each response. Did they answer? Did they try to help? Did they collect your contact information?
Benchmark your own answer rate
Compare your scores to your own community. Most operators discover their after-hours performance is worse than their competitors — and that is the conversation that matters.
Ed Runs the Audit For You
Ed calls your competitors after hours, scores them on identical criteria, and delivers a written comparison with your Sloane ROI projection.
Complete your intake form
Right after payment, answer 8 quick questions about how your community handles after-hours calls today. This becomes your baseline.
Name your 3–5 competitors
List the communities competing for the same families in your market. Name and city is enough — Ed finds the numbers.
Ed calls on a weekday evening
All calls happen in a single session starting at 7:00pm. Same conditions, same time of night — every competitor evaluated equally.
Every call scored on identical criteria
Did they answer? How professional was the response? Did they try to capture a lead? Did they offer a callback? All scored the same way.
Your written report arrives within 5 business days
Findings, scores, competitor comparison, and a Sloane ROI projection showing exactly what AI answering would recover each month.
What We Score on Every Call
Emotional Synchrony
A family in crisis doesn't need cheerfulness — they need to feel heard. We score whether the responder matches the caller's energy or defaults to the scripted "Artificial Pleasantness" of outsourced call centers. That forced high-energy warmth kills trust at exactly the wrong moment.
Financial Qualification
Do they ask the right questions about budget and timeline — or avoid the conversation entirely?
The Karma Play
When a Medicare caller reaches a private-pay community, most staff just say no and hang up — creating a negative brand ambassador. The high-IQ move: email them a short referral list of nearby Medicare communities. That 10-second act earns goodwill that returns as private-pay referrals. We score which side your competitors are on.
Technical Knowledge & Cognitive Load
Night staff are caretakers first, sales people second. Even the best process breaks down when someone is mentally tracking a resident emergency during your call. We score whether cognitive load is leaking through — rushed answers, apathetic tone, distracted pauses — all of which cost tours.
67%
of senior living after-hours calls go unanswered or to voicemail
75%
of families choose the first community they speak with
<60s
is the window to make a first impression on an after-hours call
Why the Alzheimer's Association
The connection isn't accidental.
Alzheimer's disease affects 7 million Americans. One of the cruelest features of the disease is the gap between what someone intends to do and what actually gets done. The message that doesn't get sent. The follow-up that never happens. The moment that closes silently.
That's also exactly what breaks businesses after hours. We spend our days closing the gaps in business systems. This is our way of closing gaps that matter more. Donations are remitted monthly to the Alzheimer's Association (EIN: 13-3039601).
What happens after the audit
Most communities are bleeding tours every night. The one that answers wins the family.
When 67% of competitors go to voicemail after 5pm, answering in one ring isn't just better — it's an unfair advantage. Sloane is a 1:1 clone of your best Admissions Director. She has no bad days, no compassion fatigue, no cognitive load from a resident emergency down the hall. Every call gets the same Emotional Consistency — labeling, mirroring, and calibrated questions on every single interaction.
Night Shift Report customers apply their $297 toward the $2,450 Sloane setup fee. The report effectively pays for itself.
Your Business Leaks Revenue Every Night.
Now fixing that funds something that matters.
Do It Yourself
The complete audit framework — checklist, scoring rubric, and gap-analysis template — delivered to your inbox within 5 minutes.
- Mystery Shopper Call Script
- 5-Point Grading Rubric
- Competitive Comparison Sheet
- Follow-Up Action Plan
Full $27 donated to Alzheimer's Association
The Night Shift Report
Ed personally calls 3–5 of your competitors in a single after-hours session starting at 7pm. You get a written report comparing their performance to yours — plus a Sloane ROI projection and a $297 credit toward setup.
- You name 3–5 competitors — Ed locates their phone numbers
- Ed calls every competitor in a single session starting at 7:00pm
- Each call scored on 4 dimensions: Emotional Synchrony, Financial Qualification, The Karma Play, and Technical Knowledge
- Brand Erosion audit: identifying outsourced call centers using "Artificial Pleasantness" that lowers family trust
- Cognitive Load assessment: evaluating whether night staff sound distracted, rushed, or exhausted during intake
- Your own after-hours setup benchmarked against competitor average
- Written Night Shift Report with full findings and scores
- Sloane ROI projection — estimated monthly revenue recovered with AI answering
- $297 credited toward Sloane onboarding (applies to your $2,450 setup fee)
$148.50 donated to Alzheimer's Association